to sisterhood

what a year, sis. it’s one we did and didn’t see coming – a year of planned milestones and unanticipated hard lefts, as we recalibrated our careers, our bad habits, our notions of what we want.

it strikes me we’ve been trafficking in polarities, where weekendlong sorority sleepovers met hours spent mining the realities that accompany age. we pretended we were younger, had different names, fewer questions – and then woke up grateful for the shades of grey we occupy.

you finished a house and a degree, and released what didn’t serve you. you discovered I didn’t coin the phrase ‘that’s a no for me, dog.’ you somehow got better looking.

five joint vacations, four job shifts, at least three of the absolute best days of our lives. you know the ones. how many times we asked ‘am I doing this right?’ we’ll never know.

we grew a lot. it hurt.

and we fucking danced: in the jungle, the desert, when one of us didn’t like the music and as the rain poured outside (ella, ella, eh, eh, eh).

that jungle yielded a conversation I’ll forever carry in my heart, koalaed around the love palace you erected in our home and what you shared on the eve of our wedding. the phrase soul etchings comes to mind, and I’d be more embarrassed to write something so ridiculous were it not also true. you’ll remember we cried on each of these occasions, for reasons that seemed different but were maybe the same.

from here, I can see that tears might have been our theme this year – the mercifully joyous and excruciating alike, the kind coupled with laughter so fierce it leaves you lighter for days.

I’m grateful for all of it.

you, dear friend, are my partner in the ebb and flow – embracing the ambiguity even as you cut through the noise, reminding me that I am seen and whole with your gentle wisdom and empathic heart. in the mess of it all, you are constant: loyal, luminous, unwavering. you hold it with grace.

it’s your birthday, alex, and now more than ever I hope you can savor your delicious youness. it’s been a big one, on the precipice of getting even bigger(!). you are exactly where you need to be.